Why Your Brain Reacts Before You Think (And How to Change That)
Have you ever sent a text message or email, and as soon as you pressed send, you realised maybe that wasn’t the right idea?
Even major tech companies know this happens—Google and other email providers now give you a few seconds to “undo” a sent email, because they understand how often people react impulsively and regret it seconds later.
When I first learned about how the brain processes stress and decision-making, it was a total game-changer.
I remember first coming across this idea when reading 18 Minutes by Peter Bregman. He told a story about his daughter playing in a pool. Whenever she felt overwhelmed, instead of reacting, she would shout “Pause!” to give herself a moment to recover.
That simple moment of stopping—before immediately reacting—stuck with me. Bregman explained that our brain works the same way: If we pause, even briefly, we can shift control from the amygdala (our reactive brain) to the prefrontal cortex (our logical brain).
I realised my automatic responses were just habits—and habits can be changed. Suddenly, managing emotions felt more possible. When my mind would start spinning, pulling my body and energy into chaos, I knew I had tools to bring myself back into balance.
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The Two Key Players in Your Brain: The Amygdala & Prefrontal Cortex
Every time you react to a stressful situation, two areas of your brain battle for control:
The Amygdala: Your Brain’s Emergency Alarm
The amygdala is a small, almond-shaped part of your brain designed to detect danger and trigger immediate action. It’s your fight-flight-freeze response.
🛑 The problem? The amygdala can’t tell the difference between a real threat (a car swerving into your lane) and a perceived threat (an email that sounds a little off).
That’s why:
- Your ancestors needed the amygdala to jump out of the way of a predator.
- Today, the same response gets triggered when you read a blunt message from your boss and suddenly feel your heart race.
When the amygdala takes over, your body floods with stress hormones, your breathing changes, and your ability to think clearly shuts down. This is called “amygdala hijack”—when your emotional brain reacts before your logical brain can step in.
🪷 The Prefrontal Cortex: Your Calm, Rational Decision-Maker
The prefrontal cortex, located at the front of your brain, is responsible for:
✔ Logical thinking
✔ Problem-solving
✔ Emotional regulation
✔ Planning and decision-making
Unlike the amygdala, the prefrontal cortex is slower to respond. It takes a moment to assess the situation rationally before deciding what to do.
Imagine you receive an email that sounds critical.
🔥 Amygdala response:
“Oh no! They’re upset with me! What did I do wrong?” → Anxiety spikes, stress kicks in, you start typing a defensive response.
🧠 Prefrontal cortex response:
“Let’s take a breath and reread this. Maybe they’re just asking for clarification.” → You respond calmly and avoid unnecessary stress.
The prefrontal cortex helps us see the bigger picture—but only if we pause long enough to let it activate.
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Technology Reflects How Our Brain Works
Just like our brain, technology has built-in features to help prevent knee-jerk reactions.
📩 The “Undo Send” Button:
- Google, Outlook, and other platforms now allow users to “unsend” an email within a few seconds.
- This recognises that we often react before thinking, and a short pause can make all the difference.
⌛ AI and Predictive Text:
- Notice how Gmail suggests polite endings like “Thanks for your patience” instead of “Fine.”
- Technology is literally prompting us to pause and consider a more constructive response.
🔁 Social Media “Are You Sure?” Pop-ups:
- Some platforms now ask, “Are you sure you want to post this?” if your comment seems aggressive.
- This mimics the prefrontal cortex stepping in and asking: “Do you really want this outcome?”
These features mirror what happens in our brain when we practice emotional regulation—they introduce a pause before action.
The trick is learning how to create this pause within ourselves—without needing an “undo” button in real life.
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How Kinesiology Uses the Body to Engage the Prefrontal Cortex
In kinesiology, we understand that the body and mind are deeply connected, and we can use physical techniques to calm the brain.
One simple and powerful technique is Rapid Stress Release:
🤲 Placing your hand on your forehead can help bring you back into your prefrontal cortex.
This is because the forehead area (frontal eminences) is directly linked to stress regulation. When you're overwhelmed, putting your hand on your forehead helps:
✔ Bring blood flow back to the prefrontal cortex (shifting away from amygdala-driven stress).
✔ Calm racing thoughts and re-engage rational thinking.
✔ Reduce feelings of panic and anxiety.
This technique is a natural way to create a pause, helping your brain reset before reacting.
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How to Train Your Brain to Pause Before Reacting
Shifting from Event → Reaction → Outcome to Event → Outcome → Reaction takes practice. But the more you do it, the stronger your prefrontal cortex becomes—making it easier to respond intentionally instead of reacting impulsively.
Here’s a simple method to start rewiring your brain:
1️⃣ Pause and Breathe. Take one deep breath before responding to anything stressful.
2️⃣ Label Your Emotion. Say, “I’m feeling frustrated” (this lowers amygdala activity!).
3️⃣ Ask: What’s the Best Outcome Here? Decide what you want before reacting.
4️⃣ Use a Physical Reset. Place your hand on your forehead to help engage the prefrontal cortex.
With repetition, these small actions strengthen new neural pathways, making calm, intentional responses your new normal.
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Why This Matters in Everyday Life
The balance between your amygdala and prefrontal cortex affects everything—from how you handle stress to how you communicate.
💬 In relationships: Do you snap in frustration or pause before responding?
💼 At work: Do you react defensively or take a moment to reflect?
🧘♀️ For mental wellbeing: Do you let stress spiral or use a reset technique?
The more we understand how our brain works, the more power we have to change our responses—leading to less stress, better decisions, and more emotional balance.
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